I Am Grateful 3/29/2014

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Today I am grateful for...

• Having a wonderfully generous and loving mother who always supports me -I don't know what I would do without her.
• My amazing best friend who is a constant source of strength and inspiration for me. She is always fueling my creative mind, making me laugh, and listening when I need someone to talk to. 
• Hot mugs of tea. Especially since I got this new mug in the mail recently.
• Good ska music that I can skank around my kitchen to while cooking.
• The weather finally warming up, It's been getting into the high 50s lately and the winds and rain have been warm instead of freezing. It's about time spring make an appearance.

What are you grateful for recently?

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Wednesday Words

I hope it says a lot about my dedication to writing that even though these posts get the least amount of views than anything, I still insist on doing them. I plan on doing Camp Nano this year, too, so the writing posts will probably (hopefully) just increase. Anyways!

from The Necromancer's Daughter...

“Tell me about your bike,” I said once the others had headed off to bed. Nikandros and I were the only ones from the group that slept outside, although he usually stayed up later than me and on the other side of the wagons.

 “What about it?” he asked, poking the fire with a stick so that the flames flared up brighter. I held my hands out to warm them.

 “How does it work? I’ve never seen a bike like that before.”

 He leaned forward, the fire illuminating his face. “It’s a motorcycle actually. They’re bike versions of the cars people used to have before the Shift.”

 “But that kind of stuff doesn’t work anymore, how did you get it to run?”

 “Magic,” he said, looking pleased with himself when he saw my shock. I’d never known any humans to use magic; most of them were scared of it. Although, I couldn’t quite imagine Nik being scared of anything.

 “Magic?” I repeated, also leaning forward, my gaze focused on him. I didn’t think I could have hid my interest if I wanted to.

 “You aren’t quaking in your boots, I’m impressed,” he said, grinning. He was always grinning at me.

 “Why would I?” I knew why I should, but the idea of magic wasn’t as frightening to me in the way that it was to so many others. I did have a fear of my own magic of course, but seeing as mine responded to dead things, I figured that was perfectly reasonable.

from Moon Fever (a Teen Wolf fanfic)...

"Incoming," he said to the tattoo artist. "My betas are on their way and they brought friends. Human friends." 

She nodded, wiping away excess ink and admiring her handiwork. "I know, Isaac called in earlier for a group appointment. I have David coming in to help out with it." 

"You didn't say anything," Derek said, unable to help the accusing tone in his voice.  

She quirked an amused brow at him. "I thought you knew. I also didn't think it was a big deal?"

He huffed. "It's not."

She didn't say anything but Derek could tell she knew he was lying. It had been a pretty weak lie.  

Also, like I said, I'm going to be participating in Camp Nanowrimo, so if anyone else is also planning on doing it, let me know! We should totally be in the same cabin. So far it's just me and Sue! I will be working on my YA witch book, The Night Coven.

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Head down, swaying to my own sound

Eli being adorable, per usual.

Hello lovelies, just dropping in for a random life update. I've had the lovely Sue with me for the last week, camping out in my room and keeping me company. Activities have included walks downtown to eat at the diner, buying nailpolish, baking cookies and drinking wine from the bottle, crying over Teen Wolf, reading until we pass out, and dancing around like the weirdos that we are. Needless to say, it' been fantastic.

We've been talking a lot, discussing what we want from life, and making loose plans for the future. To be honest, there's not a whole lot keeping me here in New England. Right now I am trying to get control of my anxiety issues (it's been going well so far actually), find work, finish my degree, and work on getting my license. But after all that, I just don't know. I don't want anything in particular. I want to write and work a job that doesn't suck, and be with my cat and Sue, take long walks, make magic, and smile a lot. 

Sue wants to move down to St. Augustine in the next two years. I'll probably go with her. Because I don't want to be separated from my best friend and the warm weather sounds nice and so does the general change of scenery. I want something different. I like Massachusetts well enough, but I have lived here my entire life. I'm sick of the same things, sick of more cold weather than anything else, sick of going the same places and doing the same things. I think moving south would be good for me. Getting away just sounds great actually.

In the meantime though I'm just doing things that make me happy. I read a lot, write, go jogging, dance around my room, make jewelry, talk to Sue and my mom, and am making plans to go to Warped Tour this summer and spend a lot of time lounging in the sun by the water. 

I'm working a lot on my self confidence and feeling better about who I am and how I look. It's an ongoing process, of course, but I've been feeling better about the kind of person I am. I have issues, yeah, but everyone does, and when it comes down to it, I'm not half bad really. 

I don't know you guys, this has been a post. And this is a song that me and Sue have been listening to a lot lately...

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Wednesday Words

I forgot to do one of these last week, whoops. Oh well, I remembered this time, that's all that matters right?

from The Necromancer's Daughter...

“And what exactly is it you want me to teach you?” she asked sharply. “How to raise the dead, make zombie armies, to use the power of death to choke the life from your enemies?”

I felt the colour drain from my face as she spoke. Was she insane? Why would I want to do any of that. I was too shocked to speak, staring at her serious face with wide eyes, and Nik spoke up for me.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he answered, “why would she want to do any of that psycho stuff? She just wants to learn how to control her magic.”

“And who are you?” Sydra snapped, moving her intense gaze from me to him and allowing me to breath slightly easier. Nik didn’t back down.

“Nikandros, professional bounty hunter. And friend.” He squeezed my hand again and I gave it a squeeze back, his words sending a bit of warmth through me. Even if this woman turned us away or decided to turn us into toads or whatever angry witches did, at least I had Nik with me. It was more than I could have ever hoped for.

Sydra scrutinized him for a moment more but didn’t say anything else to him. Instead she turned back to me.

“Do you wear salt on you to ground the power when you’re not using it?” I had honestly thought she was going to berate me some more so the question came as a bit of a surprise.

I nodded. “Yes, I never take it off. But it doesn’t always work, sometimes it’s just too much.”

She stared at me. “I see.” I got the sense that she saw a lot more than just what I was saying.

“I can teach you what I know, but be warned, I am no necromancer and am not as skilled in death magic as another of your kind would be. Do you have your family book?”

I nodded, relief washing over me at her acceptance to take me on as a student. “Yes, but I can’t read most of it.”

“Good,” said Sydra, “I can help you translate what you need to know. The rest you needn’t worry about.”

I wanted to argue that I had the right to know what all of it said, but I decided that was another battle best left for a different time. The last thing I wanted to do was have her revoke her teacher status.

“Thank you so much,” I said, “I really appreciate this.”

Sydra turned away from me to look into the fire that was crackling behind her. “Don’t make me regret my decision Maitland Cross.”

from a Teen Wolf punk ficlet (wip)... 

They paid for their respective booze, Scott using what Derek thought might be a fake id but the cashier didn't look twice at it. He remembered his own days of using a fake id and he had to admit he was impressed with how casually Scott had handed it over, like it was the real deal.
Derek followed the younger boy into the parking lot, listening to him chatter about his friends and how awesome they were and how much they would love Derek. Derek just nodded and grinned until they reached their respective vehicles. Scott had a blue jeep that was only a few spaces away from his own dark Camaro and Scott let out a low whistle when he saw Derek's car.
"Nice ride dude, you're putting the jeep to shame over here."
Derek gave a small smile. "It's a nice jeep, " he said, mostly just trying to be nice to the kid who had invited him over.
Scott dumped his booze into the passenger seat laughing. "You don't have to compliment it, it's not mine. It's kind of a piece of junk."
Junk was probably too strong a word but he didn't argue the fact, instead just unlocking his own door and depositing his whiskey on the floor.
"I'm not far from here, five minutes tops!" Scott called from out his window. Derek nodded and slid into the driver's seat. He hadn't gone to a party in ages. He used to go out a lot with Laura but he'd never meshed well with her friends. He was too rough around the edges, not sophisticated enough. He wasn't sure where they had gotten the impression that Laura was sophisticated (she drank milk from the carton and wasn't against talking loudly about her sex life) but she wore blazer so that apparently made her classy.
Whatever, Derek liked his leather jacket and ripped jeans.

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Currently

Patches I got recently.

Watching: Teen Wolf every Monday, of course. Once Upon a Time also started up again recently and the first episode was pretty good. I'm behind on a lot of other stuff though. I haven't been watching much. Although I did have a mini-marathon of Bob's Burgers the other day.

Reading: The Scorch Trials by James Dashner, which is the second book in the Maze Runner series. It's... interesting. I also read The Ocean at the End of the Lane recently which I included in my last book rec post.

Listening to: Tons of pop punk and ska recently -Blink 182, Reel Big Fish, Big D & the Kids Table, Fall Out Boy, Panic! at the Disco, that kind of stuff. 8tracks mixes that have been getting a lot of love include: this, this, & this.

Wearing: T-shirts, leggings, this plaid men's overshirt that Sue bought for me and I love, and my faux leather jacket when I go out. 

Thinking About: Books. Writing. Plots. My head is swimming with stuff lately. I've been thinking about punk werewolves a lot. I want to write about punk rocker orphaned werewolves so bad. I already have so many projects, but this one will not leave me alone. 

Doing: I spent another week and a half with Sue which we spent writing, walking, cooking, drinking wine, watching paranormal tv shows, reading, chatting, and just enjoying each other's company. While home I spend a lot of time cleaning and writing and hooping. I also got to spend some time recently with not only Sue, but my best friend Jennie as well, who I have known since we were 10 years old. We don't see each other often and it was nice to hang out and talk and be silly.

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My Book Recommendations Part 5

I love doing these posts and I'm super excited to share two more of my favourite books with you guys today. I hope I'm not the only one who loves these recommendations, but even if I am, oh well. Take a look and maybe find something new to read!

Deathless by Catherynne M. Valente

This book is one of the best things I have ever read, hands down. I mean, I obviously only share my favourites here with you guys, but this is close to the top of the list. It is beautifully written, dark, gritty, and romantic (in all sorts of twisted ways) while also being a sort of social commentary on Soviet Russia. Valente recently announced that she is coming out with a companion novel for it and I am ecstatic!

Summary: Koschei the Deathless is to Russian folklore what devils or wicked witches are to European culture: a menacing, evil figure; the villain of countless stories which have been passed on through story and text for generations. But Koschei has never before been seen through the eyes of Catherynne Valente, whose modernized and transformed take on the legend brings the action to modern times, spanning many of the great developments of Russian history in the twentieth century.

Deathless, however, is no dry, historical tome: it lights up like fire as the young Marya Morevna transforms from a clever child of the revolution, to Koschei’s beautiful bride, to his eventual undoing. Along the way there are Stalinist house elves, magical quests, secrecy and bureaucracy, and games of lust and power. All told, Deathless is a collision of magical history and actual history, of revolution and mythology, of love and death, which will bring Russian myth back to life in a stunning new incarnation. (via goodreads)

The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

Neil Gaiman never disappoints me. This isn't a very long book, but it's absolutely brilliant. Gaiman's writing is on point, per usual, and the story is captivating and magical and a little scary in all the right ways. If you're a Gaiman fan and you haven;t read this yet, you really should.

Summary: Sussex, England. A middle-aged man returns to his childhood home to attend a funeral. Although the house he lived in is long gone, he is drawn to the farm at the end of the road, where, when he was seven, he encountered a most remarkable girl, Lettie Hempstock, and her mother and grandmother. He hasn't thought of Lettie in decades, and yet as he sits by the pond (a pond that she'd claimed was an ocean) behind the ramshackle old farmhouse, the unremembered past comes flooding back. And it is a past too strange, too frightening, too dangerous to have happened to anyone, let alone a small boy.

Forty years earlier, a man committed suicide in a stolen car at this farm at the end of the road. Like a fuse on a firework, his death lit a touchpaper and resonated in unimaginable ways. The darkness was unleashed, something scary and thoroughly incomprehensible to a little boy. And Lettie—magical, comforting, wise beyond her years—promised to protect him, no matter what. (via goodreads)

There you go, some more reading material for you all. Both of which I can guarantee you are excellent, as far as I'm concerned at least.

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New shop stuff!

I finally have put some new things up in my shop. Hurrah! I meant to list these sometime last week but time kind of got away from me and I forgot about it. I really like these pieces though and I hope you guys do too.

braiden. titanium quartz & brass chain earrings.

aira. a wire wrapped quartz pendant with feather charm.

callida. a titanium quartz & red aventurine bracelet.

Click to view the entire shop!

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Sexual Fluidity (or all about how I'm just a girl with a lot of crushes)

I have been thinking about writing this post for awhile and I finally just decided to bite the bullet and go for it. Nothing you read in this post has been a secret. I have been open about my sexuality for a long time, particularly on tumblr and twitter. I mean, my family doesn't really know, but not because I am afraid of telling them, just because it's never really come up.

I learned the other day that Anne Frank was bisexual. Her diary was heavily edited before it was published, removing all then entries of her talking about being attracted to girls. Learning this has infuriated me. This was something I needed to know when I was growing up. This was something I needed to read when I was younger. I consider this an important historical fact. I feel like part of my education was robbed -again.

When I was little I didn't know I liked girls as well as boys. Looking back though I can definitely tell you that I had a crush on Christina Ricci as Wednesday Addams and Sarah Jessica Parker as Sarah from Hocus Pocus. I definitely thought of some of the girls I went to school with the same way I thought of some of the boys. I didn't really think too much about it at the time. I wasn't one of those kids that grew up in a sexually repressed household. My family isn't religious, there was no talk of sin, there was no fear of being dirty, or anything like that. I knew about people being gay. My parents didn't keep it a secret like a lot of parents do. My aunt Kelly was gay and no one thought twice about it. I didn't think twice about it.

But I knew I liked boys so I assumed that because I did I couldn't also like girls. I didn't know it was possible to be attracted to both. That changed when I got to high school, of course. I learned the word bisexual and started to apply it to myself.

Eventually I switched the term out for pansexual. I recognize that there are several types of gender identities and the word bisexual, to me, makes it seem like I'm only open to two -the standard men and women. But when I'm attracted to someone, their gender identity doesn't matter to me. I don't care what you call yourself or how you dress. If I'm into you then I'm into you. Which why I now just say my sexuality is fluid. No labels, no need to categorize.

Despite this, I have only ever been in relationships with men. Which is not even because I have a preference for men, it just happens. I've crushed on plenty of girls before, kissed a few of them, too. But because I have never dated a girl people like to assume I'm straight.

I. Am. Not.

What I am trying to say is that people in general are really great, no matter what their parts are, how they dress, etc. Everyone has something attractive about them and if we get along and you have a nice personality, chances are I'd be totally into dating you.

I read this post recently and really identify with this line (although the whole piece is really great and you should all read it):

I'm just some confused dork who has too many crushes on too many different types of people.

That is me. That is me to a tee. I just crush on people. Girls in pretty dresses and combat boots, boys in skinny jeans and glasses, girls in plaid button downs, boys in stockings and eyeliner -the list goes on and on. People are just attractive. I can't help it.

And as a side note, everyone looks good in lacy underwear. Everyone. Fuck gender roles in clothing.

I would love to hear what you guys have to say on this. I think it's important to talk about sexuality so feel free to share your thought, experiences, etc.

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Strictly Rude (some more music)

I have some actual posts being worked on right now but I have been lazy and haven't finished any of them yet. I still wanted to put something up though, so here is one of my favourite songs ever. It's just one of those tunes that you never get sick of and is brilliant every time you listen to it.

See her in the city and say
Oo she's got a lovely way
True she don't want to play
She has you going your way

I pop no style
I'm strictly rude
I pop no style
I'm strictly rude

See her in the club and you call out to me, true
See her, when I look she winks
See her dancing in the black
Waiting for me to attack

Drink a little beer, smoke, we're winos I think
An uptown, top right kid

See me and she pulls against me
Soon dancing is a constant thing,
checks to see I'm Allston boy, and I am
So now she knows my ring

When we leave, she rides with me
I'm an uptown, top right kid

Shall you see us driving we both sing
Check-o we're jamming everything
She says, "Loving's all I bring-
And I'm carrying for you, if you'll be my man"

She pops no style
She's strictly rude
She pops no style
She's strictly rude

When two fit, it makes you think
I got the cute one, my woman
She says, "Lovin's all I bring"
And it's her loving that's a wonderful thing

We pop no style
We're strictly rude
We pop no style
We're strictly rude

Lovin' yes we are, it's such a wonderful thing
When two fit it makes you think
See us both in the black
She lays on me so relaxed

Drink a little beer, smoke, we're winos I think
We're uptown, top right kids

See her in the club and she calls out to me
She winks as she's clawing at me
See us both in the black
She looks at me so relaxed

Drink a little beer, smoke, we're winos I think
Drink a little beer, smoke, we're winos I think

She says, "Lovin's all I bring"
And it's that lovin' that's a wonderful thing

We pop no style
We're strictly rude
We pop no style
We're strictly rude

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Wednesday Words

from Moon Fever (a Teen Wolf fanfic)...

"He doesn't know you well enough to hate you," she said, picking through the curtain display.
"Which makes it even worse. Am I that revolting of a person? You'd tell me if I was, wouldn't you?"
"Take this," she said, handing him a package of gauzy curtains.
"Lydiaaaaa," he whined. Even he couldn't call it anything other than whining. All he could think about was Derek fucking Hale and why the guy seemed to despise him so much and Lydia was seriously not helping with her perfect hair and complete indifference.
"You're being a child and I'm not answering stupid questions."
"You're supposed to be my friend and comfort me and tell me how wonderful I am and how lucky any guy would be to have me," Stiles pointed out, shooting her an insincere glare from over the mound of stuff in his arms.
"No, that's what Scott is for. So whine to him over your pizza and video games, or whatever it is the two of you do all the time."
"Actually we paint our nails and talk about guys."
"Well, I'd believe it of you anyways."

from The Necromancer's Daughter...

When I woke up again it was alone, the blankets wrapped around me like a cocoon as sunlight streamed through the curtain-less window. Sleep clung to my eyelids and I had to sit up and blink several times to keep myself from burying my head back in the pillow and ignoring the world. If I had been in my own house and in my own bed I would have. I’d have lain in bed for days. But if I’d been at home, none of this ever would have happened.

The reality of the day before hit me and I reached for the vial of salt around my neck. It was still tucked under my shirt and I clutched it, taking a deep breath. There was no death in this room, nothing to make my insides twist and writhe against the salt’s constraint. 

I stood and stretched. My body still ached but not nearly as bad as the night before. I didn’t know how long I had slept but it had clearly done me some good –not that sleeping for several hours whenever my magic decided to act up was practical. I was contemplating way to carry more salt on me when Nikandros opened the door carrying a tray.  

“I brought you breakfast,” he said, setting the tray down on the nightstand. On it was a bowl of oatmeal and a mug of black coffee, both still steaming. My stomach growled at the smell and Nik laughed. 

“Well I’m glad you can eat,” he said while I shoveled the oatmeal into my mouth. I was starving, which probably had something to do with the fact that I had wretched up everything that had been in my stomach hours before. I took a sip of the coffee as he continued.  

“You slept a long time, and thrashed a lot at first, but you calmed down sometime around midnight. How do you feel?”  

I swallowed my food and took a breath, flicking my gaze to his and then around the room. “Better.”  

He nodded, leaning against the wall a few feet away.  

“Thank you,” I said, looking more at my feet than at him. “For taking care of me.” 

Thanks for reading lovelies.

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Welcome to the Sky

Just some music for you all. Enjoy.

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I Am Grateful 3/1/14

buy this print here.

I haven't done one of these posts in awhile and I am definitely overdue for one. I have a lot to be grateful for, even if my life is a bit of a mess.

• The love and support of my grandfather who takes care of me when I need someone to lean on while I learn to walk on my own again.
• Long conversations about anything and everything with my best friend. We talk every day and she keeps me inspired and strong.
• Quiet roads to go jogging on and enjoy the fresh air.
• Books to get lost in. I would fall apart without good literature to fall into on a regular basis. 
• Hot coffee on cold mornings. I am always so thankful to have coffee in my life honestly. It's an instant pick me up.

What are you grateful for lately?

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