Quick pictures from my week...

I spent five wonderful days with my best friend at the apartment she shares with my another friend of ours and her cat -and it was fantastic. It was the first time we've seen each other in a year and it was so nice to just be with someone who I can be 100% comfortable with and who I can switch back and forth with from a really intense conversation to one about Teen Wolf feelings.

We had a lovely time, too. We went out for Mexican food & margaritas, played Apples to Apples and then Cards Against Humanity with friends, drank wine, talk about books, and just enjoyed each other's company. I hated having to leave, although I was happy to see Eli again, who refused to let me hold him for four hours when I got back. He got over it though and now won't leave my side.

Anyways, here's a few pictures from my time away. And, yes, I was a bad blogger and didn't even take a picture of myself. Whoops.

Sue and her kitty, Tuscany

Tuscany! It was hard to get a picture of her, she doesn't like to stay still.

Sue despairing over how to get the cork off the bottle. It was bubbly wine & it wouldn't pop off.
(We ended up using a corkscrew which was a pain in the ass. But the wine was good)

The Apples to Apples game.

We moved to Cards Against Humanity after that though because you can play online so we
got to include Sue's brother in the game.

Fire! They have a fireplace in their apartment because they're on the top floor. So awesome.

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Shots from my bedroom

My bed, kind of a mess, with a napping kitty on it.

One of my shelves, filled with pictures and stones.

My other shelf with my Monster High collection. Also some cookie cutters.

Corner of my bedroom that has my chair and fabric wall hanging.

Eli lounging on the blanket my mom made for me.

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Writing Snippet

So today I thought I'd share a snippet from the novel I have been working. It's the same one I was writing for Nanowrimo and have been trying to organize and flesh out more since. I am nowhere near to done but I have made quite a bit of headway.

You can learn about this novel and the other stuff I'm writing by going here.

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So I got a camera for christmas...

My mom bought me a new camera for Christmas which is probably my favourite thing I got. It's a digital camera so it's nothing too fancy but I am thrilled to have something decent that I photograph my life with. One, I need it for the shop (which is currently on vaca mode); two, I love taking selfies and pictures of Eli; three, I love the idea of capturing small moments. That last one is not something I do very often, mostly because all I've had is my crappy phone camera.

So now that I have something better I am going to try my hardest to take more pictures and share them in this space. It will probably be stuff like my face, Eli, books I'm reading, my front yard, cups of tea -very typical blogger stuff I suppose. But that the kind of life I live and those pictures are the most honest representation of me on a day to day basis. And I want this to be an honest space. But don't worry, if a monkey riding an elephant goes down my street or something, I'll be sure to take a picture and share that too. No one wants to miss out on that.

Also, yes, quite obviously I edited these photos before I posted them. They're mirror shots so they weren't the best quality but I liked them so I used a fancy black & white action in photoshop and voila! They now look much better.

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A Life in Pins (Image Heavy)

I have been thinking a lot about moving forward and creating a life for myself that I love and empowers me. I have a Pinterest board for it and everything, and now I am going to share some of my pins, kind of like a vision board, only I'm not bothering to shop them all together into one image. And this is mostly for my own benefit. So here we go...

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My Best Friend

Today I want to talk to you guys about my best friend. I don't think I've ever really written about her on here before, nothing in depth at least. We've had a lot of ups and down in our friendship; there have been long stretches of time where we've been so angry with each other that we cut each other off completely. Those times allowed us to grow in different ways, but they don't last. We have just come out of one of those times to be honest and I am sincerely hoping it doesn't happen again. I am trying to teach myself how to be more open, to communicate better -hopefully I can make some headway on that front.

Anyways, my best friend's name is Sue and I have known her since we were 12 years old -so just over 11 years. We're only a few months apart (she's older) and we've always had a ton in common. And of course that's what brings people together, especially when you're young. She moved to Massachusetts from Texas and liked rock music, ripped jeans, and black clothes. She studied witchcraft, was strong-willed, and she liked to write. 

Us at a party our freshmen year of college, being weirdos

She made friends with my other bestie (Jen) first seeing as two weeks after she moved to the area, my family moved a couple of towns over. We got to know each other through Jen (who, by the way, is still one of my best friends ever, she is such a dear and we have literally never had a fight that lasted longer than 10 minutes) and it was quickly apparent that we were ideal friends. We liked the same music, dressed similarly, obsessed over the same movies, and wrote the same kind of stories which we of course traded and critiqued. I remember the first time me and Jen made her sit down and watch Queen of the Damned with us because she had never seen it and we fangirled over Stuart Townshend and his leather pants so hard.  

She also helped my study of witchcraft expand. I had started to explore it on my own when my mom brought home a book about it from one of her trips to Salem. My mom has always been very open-minded when it came to alternative belief paths and always encouraged my love of anything to do with fantasy or magic. Delving into witchcraft was a logical step for me, and since Sue had already been studying and practicing for a few years, I went to her to talk and get advice on the matter. Exploring paganism together definitely brought us closer together in a way that other friendships I have made in my life just can't compare to. And practicing together only made the bond stronger, as you have to really trust each other and feel comfortable. She became a sister to me, closer to me than any of my own family, and came to share a place in my heart that before then had only held Jen.

We never went to high school together. She stayed in one school and I went to two different ones. Sometimes I wouldn't have a phone so she'd send me letters in the mail with mix cd's to listen to. She introduced me to Panic! at the Disco that way. When I did have a phone we spent long hours talking, reading off bits of the stories we were working on and bitching about our own lives. High school was a very dark time for me. My home life was stressful, I was depressed, addicted to self-harm, and I hate everything. Sue was an anchor for me during all of that. She had her own problems to deal with, but she never stopped helping me with mine, and I always tried to do the same for her. 

Us at our favourite goth club together, 2011.

We decided to go to the same college, which was the one that her brother had started at the year before us. We had a few classes together (including an 8am history class that we both mostly slept through) our first semester and our friendship morphed to fit the fact that we were now seeing each other almost every day instead of once every three or four months. We had a lot of ups and downs -other relationships got in the way (including my relationship from hell with the worst person ever) and we got on each other's nerves. Not that it was all bad -we also went to parties together, drank and danced and teased our friends while playing beer pong, we played frisbee in the quad, bought each other coffee, studied together, and spent three hours once dancing in one of the empty lounges. We even lived together for a little while, and while that had it's own mess of problems (due to a lot of different things) it was nice to have her in the other room, to know she was there and have someone to go to when I just wanted to chat or watch tv. We drank a lot of wine, played ddr (once while drinking straight vodka -I do and don't recommend that 100%), watched paranormal tv shows before bed, and threw some pretty awesome parties.

And now we're 23 and we live at least a half hour away from each other and we're talking again. She got me to watch Teen Wolf and now I'm completely addicted, and we talk about our books, our workouts, our food. And I let her in on something that I have kept secret from almost everyone because I was terrified. It feels like a weight has been lifted. I have a lot of internal issues, my anxiety being the biggest, but having my best friend to talk to has made me feel like more of a person again. The last year has been a haze with not a whole lot of good and far too much bad. I tried to cling to positivity but the entire time I could feel myself slipping. It's weird when you become so disconnected that you're not even sure you're a person or just the idea of a person. 

Sue makes me feel like a person. She is my best friend and she makes me feel like I'm actually alive, like I can move forward and do things. Like I have valid opinions and emotions. Having her back in my life has helped me bridge the disconnect between me and reality. 

She is strong, and beautiful; her writing is brilliant and she has excellent taste in books and tv shows; she has a killer wardrobe and a love for boots that matches my own; she believes in magic and will take long nighttime walks with me; she doesn't take shit from people and she can be one of the sweetest people ever. She can make an incredible cup of coffee. Her music taste is diverse and fantastic. She makes bad puns and likes to hoop barefoot outside. She's not afraid to stick out and she has this laugh she does sometimes that sounds like a cackle that I love. 

Another club photo. I think from 2010.

And she gets me. She always has. She doesn't mind if I babble on about fictional characters because she does it too. We can bounce ideas off of each other for our writing and actually pull ourselves out of a block by doing it. There are very few people whose creative energy can feed my own and she is one of them.
During the times when we have not been on speaking terms I have always had people asking me if I regret getting a matching tattoo with her. The answer was (and will always be) no. I have never regretted it, not even when I've been beyond furious at her. Because even if we never spoke again that would never erase the friendship we had. No matter what she still would have been a pillar in my life, someone who has given me strength and helped  keep me from flinging myself over the edge. Even if we never worked through things, she would still be one of the most important people in my life.

Of course, I am hoping that we are always friends, because my life is definitely brighter with her in it. I love her more than I have loved almost anyone else. She is not my sister by blood but she is in my heart. 

And because she is so awesome, you should check out her blog & her shop. :D

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Currently

Well I haven't done one of these in forever and a lot has been going on, so here we go!

These are my books.  Organizing them is a pain.

Watching: Teen Wolf. TEEN WOLF YOU GUYS. I don't know why I waited so long but I am in love. I just finished catching up yesterday and I have so many feelings about these characters.

Reading: I have been reading so so much lately. Currently I am on book 2 of The Lunar Chronicles (which I recommend 100%) and I also finished Deathless last week and I REALLY RECOMMEND THAT. It's a dark Russian fairytale novel and it is A+ all around.

Listening To: This & This & This & This

Wearing: Mostly leggings and t-shirts -comfy and perfect for working out in. Also I almost have my slippers on because my feet get cold without them in about 10 seconds.

Eating & Drinking: Blood oranges, toast with peanut butter, and lots of coffee.

Thinking About: Moving forward, fitness routines, books, the future in general. My mind is a whir of a lot of things. Everything is different now than it was just a few weeks ago. My brain is still trying to make sense of it all, trying to figure out where to go from here.

Doing: Um, watching Teen Wolf, haha. And reading a lot, of course. I've also spent a decent amount of time with my grandmother, going for walks, hooping in my bedroom, cleaning the house, and texting my bestie.

So, here's the thing. I moved again. I now live with my grandfather, which is where I was living a few years ago before I moved out to Fitchburg to be closer to school. Me and my boyfriend broke up, and no, I really really don't want to talk about. Not right now. Eli and I have made ourselves comfortable in our new home, Eli has adjusted very well (he enjoys watching the horses in the back yard), and I am making resolutions. 

First and foremost has been my fitness. The roads around here are great for walking/jogging and I plan to take full advantage of that. I also may or may not have some Zumba videos. Working out helps me deal with my anxiety so I want to make sure I make time for it everyday.

I'll be applying for work downtown a few places and hope someone will hire me. My grandmother said she'd add me to her phone plan once I get a job so that I can actually have service instead of just going off the house wifi. From there, I don;t know, but I hope to the gods that this year is better than 2013 was.

So, what are you guys currently up to?

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Cat Spam Part II

Did you like looking at pictures of Eli? Yes? Well then you're in luck...

I photoshopped out a bunch of the dust on is face but you can still see some of it. I'm honestly not sure how he manages to cover himself in so much of it.

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Cat Spam

I am playing around with my new camera so here are some pictures of Eli:

Don't mind the dust on his face, he collects it.

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Here, have a wallpaper for your computer

I was bored so I made a wallpaper. Honestly, all I did was add the text. The photo is from here. You should be able to make it bigger by clicking on it/opening it in another tab. Just right click and save.

Happy new year!

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2014 Resolutions & Goals & Stuff

So I never really make New Year's resolutions but 2013 was such a shit-show year that I figured I'd give these resolution things a chance. I feel like I'm at the bottom, or pretty close to it, so really at this point I don't have anywhere else to go but up. At least that's what I keep telling myself. So here we go...

• Obligatory Health & Fitness Resolution. Because what New Year's resolution list is complete without one? This is can probably stick with pretty easily though. I got a new pair of leggings to go walking/running in while it's cold and I have my hula hoop and some hand weights that are waiting to be used again.
• Permit/License. This was the list I made for my birthday as well. I'll probably get this done if only because I live with my family again and they bug me about it all the time.
• Finish the first draft of my novel. I need to get this done so that I can start on revisions. I already have a decent chunk finished from doing Nanowrimo, so that helps.
• Complete My Reading Challenge. I started the 2014 Reading Challenge on Goodreads: read 100 books this year. I know that sounds like a lot, but honestly, that's relatively normal for me. The past few years have been slow reading for me but I'm starting to get back into my book-groove. I used to read about 40-50 just in one summer.

And there you have it. So goals and whatnot. I have a few more but I'm keeping them private. Fingers crossed I can get this stuff done. It's not a very long list so in theory it should be easy. We'll see.

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