Girl Gospel

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There's a tag on my tumblr called "girl gospel" and it's a tag I love so much that I want to talk about it here. It's no secret that I consider myself a feminist (and really if you don't we can't be friends) and I am quick to defend women as a whole and put people in their place when misogyny starts spilling out of their mouth.

I'm one of those people who doesn't have the patience for ignorance and stupidity when it comes to this. We live in a time when it's just not acceptable to be misogynistic. There's no excuse for it. We have so much information at our fingertips all the time, there is no reason for the ignorance. Unless of course you're a misogynistic asshole, in which case, well, you're an asshole.

So I want to talk about how women don't owe men anything. And when I say women, let's get something straight. I mean all women. I mean women of every race and I mean anyone who identifies as a woman. If you get up in the morning and think "I am a woman" regardless of what you've got downstairs, congratulations, you are a woman.

And as a woman you live in a patriarchal society and it's bullshit.

So I'm going to leave you with some girl gospel to remind you that there's nothing wrong with you, you don't owe the world anything, you don't have to be who others want you to be, and you don't have to take anyone's shit.

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I highly recommend that last video. It's incredible.

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Feminist Friday: Vagina is Not a Bad Word

If you read the title of this post and it put a smile on your face, made you nod in enthusiastic agreement, or displayed any other kind of awesome agreement then I am so happy we're on the same page. However, if you saw the word "vagina" and shied away from it, then listen up, because this post is definitely for you.

Vagina is not a bad word.

It's not dirty, vulgar, uncivilized, inappropriate or in any other way unacceptable. It's the technical term for a female's genitalia. Just as penis is the same for a male's. This is not news people -we all learned this in school. And if you didn't then I suggest you evacuate your childhood town (if you haven't already) and never raise children there. Genitalia is a part of the body an everybody's got it, so there's no reason to get embarrassed or nervous about it. And you especially shouldn't feel uncomfortable coming out and saying "vagina."

Of course the same goes for penis, but that's not something we as a culture seem to have a problem with. The word is thrown around pretty willy-nilly, as is its synonym, dick. We call people dicks all the time, tell people to stop dicking around, jokingly tell our friend to suck our dicks. (Yes, my lovely readers, I am really going down this route, so stick with me.) Substitute a female parts into that and people start to get offended, confused, and uncomfortable. Unless, of course, you're trying to insult someone by calling them a pussy, but that's another topic that I will most certainly get into in another post. Quick preview though: likening someone to a woman (read: calling them a pussy) when they are being "weak" or in any way incapable is insulting to women and not acceptable ever. 

Anyways, as I was saying. Try calling someone a vagina and see what happens. Tell them to stop vagina-ing around. It sounds silly to say, but why? We've made light of male reproductive organs, so why not a woman's as well? Although, I will admit, I've seen a lot of lovely feminists on the internet who say "suck my clit" a lot and that seems to be catching on a bit, which I am in full support of. I never got why females say "suck my dick." It doesn't make any sense to me, but maybe someone can enlighten me?

Whatever, the point of the matter is, no one should feel embarrassed about saying vagina. And no one should shame someone for saying it. It's not even a slang word -that's it's actual name. So when you hear it, don't cringe, don't look at your feet, and don't pretend that you don't know what a vagina is or what it does. We all came out of one, so get over it.



When it comes down to it, it's a part of your body (unless your male, in which case it's not, but you know what I mean) and your body is never anything to feel ashamed or uncomfortable about.

Feminist Friday: Things That Aren't Other Peoples Business

Alright ladies, I'm sure you've all noticed this and been the victim of it at some point in your life. When you're a woman people seem to think that you need to justify your decisions -particularly ones revolving around relationships, sex, and pregnancy. It's extremely difficult to be a woman and state that you want to be single or married. If you want to have casual sex with someone, only with people you love, or not at all. If you want to have 9 kids, 1 kid, or no kids at all but maybe a few cats.

No matter what you want regarding any of these topics people are going to question you. They want to know why you want that many kids -don't you want to focus on your career? They want to know why you don't want any kids -don't you want a family? I'm sure you'll change your mind. And they definitely want to know how much sex you're having and all the reasons behind that very personal decision -why would you sleep with someone if you're not going to get married? Do you want to be labeled as a slut? You're not having sex!? What are you, a prude?

The double standards are ridiculous. And in case you are one of those people who happen to think that you're entitled to know all the reasons behind someone's personal decisions and also have the right to judge them for it, let me spell that out for you.

R.I.D.I.C.U.L.O.U.S.

Being a woman does not mean that I have to report to anyone. Having a vagina does not mean that I'm incapable of making my own decisions. The only person in charge of your life is you. No one has the right to tell you how you should live it or to judge you based on trivial things like how many people you've slept with or whether or not you want kids. It doesn't matter. 

I don't care how much sex a girl has had or with how many people. I don't care if she has a friend with benefits or has one night stands. She is not a slut and slut-shaming is not okay. And choosing not to have sex or to be more picky about who it's with does not make her a prude. We all make our own decisions and those decisions deserve to be respected without snide comments or rude names being tossed around by those who think their decisions are better.

And its not just men who provide this double standard so don't think I am singling them out. I'm not at all. Women are just as guilty of this because they have been taught from a young age (however indirectly) that having "too much" sex makes you a slut and having "too little" makes you a prude. The thing they fail to tell you is that there is no middle ground. There's no winning. You're shamed either way. Someone is going to go out of their way to judge you and try to bring you down.

Its not just sex either. If you're a single, independent woman then for some reason people seem to think you are in need of a relationship. People ask you if you have a boyfriend. They ask if you've been on any dates recently. They ask you about your ex. They want to know your thoughts on marriage and when you'll start a family. It can quickly become the main topic of discussion. Your job, friends, hobbies, dreams, and opinions are often easily thrust aside so that they can talk to you about your relationship status. It's insulting, first off, as well as not their business.

And children are where people really get annoying about your choices. I have personally chosen not to have kids. I made this decision when I was still a teenager and at 22 years old my position has not budged. I don't want kids. It's not that I don't like them, I just don't think being a mom is for me. And that choice is something people really like to have a go at. I can't tell you how many times I've been told that I'll "change my mind" or that someday I'll "think differently about it." Or better yet that I'll surely want them when I "find the right person." It's infuriating. I'm not going to change my mind, and seeing as I'm the only inside my head, I'm the only one who gets to call the shots on how I think and feel on the matter. Plus, I don't think "finding the right person" has much to do with it. Maybe some people find the love of their life and decide to have children, but that doesn't hold true for everyone and should not be something that is brought up.

To be honest, none of it should be brought up. When you tell someone you don't want kids they should accept it and move on with the conversation. Same goes if you tell them you do want kids. Or that you're single. Or married. Or in an open relationship. Or celibate. Or having sex 20 times a week with 3 different people. Whatever.

The point is, it's no one's business but your own. You do not have to justify your decisions and people shouldn't demand that you do.

This post has been long and if you stuck through it then I seriously commend you. I usually post happier, more positive things on my blog, but some things just have to be said, which is the whole point of Feminist Friday. Besides, once you free yourself from caring what others think about you and your life you'll be much happier anyways. 

*****P.S. Don't forget to enter my AD GIVEAWAY!*****

My Awesome Friday + A Quick Feminist Friday

Today has been pretty busy, but in the awesome, I'm-so-happy-this-is-my-life kind of way. To start it off I got a call back from Hannaford -I'm hired! I start my orientation and training next week! I am so excited about this. I've been trying to find a part time job in my area since April.

Me and my boyfriend also took a trip to the Armory in Worcester (MA) because they were having a free day. This was the second time I've been and I love it there. It's a really cool building filled with tons of armor and weaponry from different time periods all across the world. Here's a quick picture from when I went last year (I didn't take any pictures this time around.)

That guy has some rad armor, right? Hehe, sorry, my history nerd is showing.

Anyways, after the armory we got ice cream (strawberry cheesecake in a waffle cone? hells yeah!) and then took a trip to Salvation Army for some quick thrifting. I managed to find three really awesome tops. I paid $2.97 for all of them! I seriously love thrift store shopping so much.

After that lovely outing I found out that I am getting a rat! askldfhaslefsdk I have wanted one for soooo long! They're so cute and fun and friendly and I am so excited. As if you couldn't tell! xD My super-awesome-fantastic-noreallyIcan'texpresshowgreatheisinmerewords boyfriend wants to get me a rat as a congrats for getting the job! Being a cashier is already turning out to be way more fantastic than I thought it would.

Aaaaand my day is not over yet! I still have to go food shopping, make dinner, and then me, the boyfriend, and other half are having a night of drinks. Then tomorrow we're off to Boston for some city-wandering followed by a showing of The Devil's Carnival. And then Sunday is Warped Tour! Such a great weekend line up.

That of course means  probably won't be updating, but I will be sure to be back Monday with pictures and details. In the meantime, for my Feminist Friday feature, enjoy perusing ModernGirlBlitz filled with feminist goodies. I haven't bought anything there yet but I will soon. I have a job now you know! Haha. 

Here's a quick preview of some of the awesome stuff you can buy:

Go take a look!

Feminist Friday

Just some quotes and pictures this week. I don't have the time or energy to write out anything long and well-thought-out. Next week though!

From this blog.

"After spotting a growing number of young 'trendy' males advertising faceless naked women proudly on their t-shirts, I pondered why it's acceptable for adolescent males to have that plastered on their shirts, totally unscathed (if anything the disgust would be aimed at the model - boy will be boys but 'real' women should keep their clothes on, right?), and yet it's also acceptable to loudly analyse a young woman's skirt length on a public bus, and thusly make worthless assumptions about her character." -Gina, Gender Hypocrisy & Wearing a Short Skirt on the Bus

That quote is from an article on one of my favourite websites, mookychick.co.uk . If you enjoy my blog then chances are you'll like this website. They cater to the weird, adventurous, feminist, spiritualist, wacky individual. I highly recommend going and take a look around.

Feminist Friday: Not An Invitation

Let's talk about something very important -women's clothing and the implications of said clothing. What implications are there? None. 

Short skirts, heels, low-cut tops and any other revealing or "sexy" item is not an invitation to be harassed or touched in any way by men or anyone else for that matter. This should be obvious. Apparently it's not. I can't walk 5 minutes from my house without getting rude comments about my ass or getting whistled at by truck drivers. It's disgusting and degrading. Most of the time I'm not even wearing revealing clothing -I'm too afraid to leave the house by myself in anything low cut or in heels because I know it would make the harassment that much worse.

Women should not have to live in fear of the reactions their clothing is going to get. 

And in no way does that mean women should just wear more "modest" clothes. The fact that there are other people with so little respect for our bodies and for us as people is a problem. No one should be treated as an object. Having a vagina does not make me any less of a person. And wearing a short skirt does not turn me into some kind of plaything that people can say and do whatever they want to.

I don't wear short skirts or low cut tops for anyone other than me, so let's clear that up. Because after that whole rant, when dealing with a misogynist, that is their next plan of attack. "Well why wear things like that if you don't want the attention?" I dress for myself and myself only. I wear things because I like them and the way they look on me, not to get the attentions of some creepy old guys on the side of the road. The fact that it would be insinuated that I am doing something for the attention of men only reinforces the fact that sexism and misogyny are very real and alive today. And that is something that no one should stand for.

Something for you all to think about.

New Weekly Feature: Feminist Friday

I have a lot of weekly features, some which don't actually happen every week, but I try. I have Music Monday (reeaallly need to do another one of those), Tumblr Tuesday, Wordy Wednesday and Thrifty Thursday. Friday has been a big question mark for me since I started this blog last October. I wanted it to be food posts, but I don't care about food enough. Don't get me wrong, I like to eat, I just don't feel strongly enough about it to dedicate that many posts to what I shovel in my mouth.

I also thought about doing a Fashion Friday. I love clothes and I love shopping. But I don't really have a decent camera that's mine to take pictures of consistently. I'd love to do weekly outfits posts, maybe a recap of everything I've worn that week, but it's just not plausible right now.

So, where does that leave us? Just as the title says: Feminist Friday.

Oh yeah, I am definitely a feminist. Big time. I realize it's a topic that makes some people uncomfortable, but that's not why I want to feature this part of my life every week. I don't want people to be at odds with women's rights and gender equality.

Feminism is not something to be afraid of or to tiptoe around, especially if you're a woman! It's not about man-hating and thinking that having boobs makes you better. It's about having respect and equal rights for everyone, regardless of gender, sexual preference or race. Everyone.

I am a very positive person who believes in respect and love above all else. Sounds cheesy, but it's the best way to live life. There is no need for negativity and degradation in this world. Looking down on someone for something as superficial as their gender or skin colour or orientation is ridiculous. That's what feminism is about.

So! For this new feature expect posts with feminist quotes, article, images, etc. I hope you enjoy this new part of my blog and that it gets you thinking.

Lady Unlaced

Tumblr Tuesday!

I am itching for a new tattoo!

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Haha, Karen Walker is my spirit animal.

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Also I found a fantastic blog that I think everyone should take a look at:

Who Needs Feminism?

And if you're someone who doesn't understand feminism and why it's still so relevant in society, you need to look at this blog.

Happy Tuesday!

Lady Unlaced

Just going to leave this here...

See my original post on this matter here.