Wednesday Words

It's been awhile since I did one of these posts. My blog is general has been pretty quiet, and for that I apologize. I'm in kind of weird place in my life and I never know what to post about. But for now, have some of my words...

from The Night Coven...

"Piper has enough style for a small army. She's always trying to dress me."
Fiona quirked a brow. "Is she the one that picked out that blouse?"
I nodded. "It was a gift."
"You like her a lot, don't you?"
I froze. "Well, yeah, she's my best friend," I said carefully, not looking at the other girl. That's not what she meant and I knew it, but I hadn't thought I was being so obvious. I usually wasn't, had spent most of my short life being careful about revealing any feelings for Piper that weren't strictly platonic.
To her credit, Fiona didn't say anything in response to that. I felt her eyes on me for a few more seconds before she pushed herself off the bed, extending a hand to me, smiling again. There was something about that smile tha was infectious and I quickly shoved my thoughts of Piper and secrets out of my head. I'd deal with that later. For now, I had a party to attend.

from Moon Fever (a tw fanfic)...

When Tanya finally pulled the stencil paper away Derek could finally see what it was, the temporary purple ink forming a bouquet of flowers, the name "Claudia" emblazoned on a banner over it. He understood why Tanya had hesitated, probably afraid that Claudia was some girl he liked. Stiles wasn't that stupid though (Derek wasn't about to analyze why he thought that seeing as he barely knew the kid) and he was guessing she was a family member of some sort, possibly someone who had passed away.He felt a ball of emotions roll through his stomach, threatening to rise up, and he clamped them back down, gritting his teeth. He was absolutely not going to think about it.It didn't matter anyways, a few seconds later he was distracted by the fresh wave of anxiety that Stiles put off the second that the gun started buzzing."Scott," he croaked, looking desperately at his friend who was across the room in a second, clutching his hand. There was no embarrassment between the two, no shame in Stiles being petrified."I think," Stiles started, looking between Scott and Tanya who was waiting patiently, "you might need to hold me down." 

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(Instagram) Photo Dump

Life through instagram...

bracelet I made recently.

writing outside in the sunshine.

a typical morning with Eli.

one of the Teen Wolf fanart prints I bought.

the second Teen Wolf fanart print.

re-reading this book because I love it so.

my face yesterday.

waking up with this kitty this morning.

Currently back At Sue's place for a few days, enjoying her company and the nice weather. It's a bit colder this week than it was the week before, but fingers crossed we get back into the 60s and 70s again.

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Currently

This space has been quiet and I apologize for that. I haven't really had much to say to be honest. I have been spending a lot of time writing, reading, and talking to people via my tumblr because it's a more active space in general. I didn't forget about this blog though, I have just been at a loss for what to post. I haven't really done anything interesting.
Although, I did finally go to the doctor's to talk about my anxiety/depression. Both my mom and my brother are bipolar and we decided I definitely am as well. Which is no surprise. I'm currently on some medication for it and we'll see how it goes.

view from my back door.

So lately I have been...

Watching: I started watching Parks & Rec on netflix, which is entertaining. I also watched Brooklyn 99 which is an amazing show and I recommend everyone watch it. 

Reading: The third book of the Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy came out this month and I read that in about 2 days. It was so good, such a great ending to a fabulous series! If you haven't read them you should.

Listening to: A bunch of different stuff, but a lot of punk and pop punk, that kind of stuff -Fall Out Boy, The Rocket Summer, Joan Jett, The Donnas, Bikini Kill, Blink 182, The Pretty Reckless, Garbage, The Black Keys.

Wearing: Spring has finally, truly arrived! Which means I have been wearing mostly tank tops, shorts, and lightweight sweaters. I even got away with going barefoot the other day.

Doing: Sitting outside in the sun and writing, spending time with Sue, reading (always), thinking about my fictional worlds, doctor's appointments,and  making my own laundry detergent.

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Photo Dump

I have been with the lovely Sue at her apartment for the last week, and although I have sucked at taking some decent photos, I have taken some crappy phone pictures that I put on instagram. Which I am now dumping here for your viewing pleasure.

1. Sue's cat Tuscany, she's adorable. // 2. A relaxing night hanging on the porch with twisted tea. // 3. My face. And newly shaved sides! // 4. Me and Sue. This sums up our friendship pretty well actually.

Maybe I'll have more pictures to share soon. We're going to a cookout later today and hopefully I remember to actually document some of it, haha.

I hope everyone is having a good Saturday!

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That Girl is a Monster

My head is swimming lately and I just wanted to get this out. It's something Sue and I talk about a lot actually and something I wanted to put in this space.

I don't feel like a girl anymore. My life is a mess, but I don't feel like a teenage girl playing at being an adult, smiling and being pretty and trying to save face. That's not to say I feel like an adult either.

I feel like a monster woman, a wolf in girl's clothing, a creature with fangs and claws. I feel wild.

It' not a bad feeling. Actually, it's a fantastic feeling. It's freedom, pleasure, rawness. It's an absence of shame, a place devoid of fucks to give about what other people think of me. My anxiety doesn't do well here, it withers and shrinks. If anything, that makes it worth it.

Right now I'm in a place where I'd rather have sharp edges, bared teeth and warning label eyes. I need my armor, walls in place, and a cautious heart. I need to be about myself first and foremost, and not be afraid to snarl at people who might jeopardize my growth. I don't want to be sweet and delicate, curves and a mild temper. I want to be a beast, beautiful and capable of inciting terror, respected and feared and given a wide berth.

full comic here

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