Oh hello, this is my face, and also an update

Look see, my face. And also my hair. Because I love my hair and I feel 1000x more badass when I take the time to straighten my fringe and pull the rest back so you can see the shaved bits. 

Currently I am hanging out with this lady at her apartment, doing things that I would be doing at home only in her bedroom instead of mine. We did go out yesterday with friends (after a night of wine and cuddle piles) which was nice and she got me some purple hair chalk and a new ring for my lip which I put in this morning and am super excited about. I missed having a ring, I like the way they look better than studs, I just haven't had the extra money to get one. And they were on sale at Hot Topic, buy one get one for $1, and the attractive sales guy convinced me I needed the extra set. So now I have four lip rings and one lip piercing, haha. 

And today we are lounging around the house, Sue doing work and me just putzing around the internet, reading, and trying to write. I am determined to bang out another chapter of my fanfic in the next few days and work on my (main) novel some. I got so much of it done for Nanowrimo and I really need to get back on that train of productivity again. 

What are you all up to? Any interesting plans for the weekend? Or non-interesting plans?

x

Wednesday Words

from The Necromancer's Daughter...

The roads leading to the city were like a grid, crossing one another at several intervals, and littered with crumbling buildings, flourishing plant life, and tons of debris. The more rural areas had seen a lot of clean up after the Shift, but suburbs and urban spaces were mostly left to decay. They were stretches of ruins, once a testament to human advancements, now just a wasteland for our history, left to the mercy of nature. There was something incredibly eerie about seeing the crumbling remains of what used to be, abandoned and forgotten by most humans. Nik said that there were people living within the city, taking refuge in the old buildings, desperate to cling to what the city used to be, but it was dangerous. The streets were also crawling with vampires looking for meals, fae who peddled faery dust to humans, fake psychics looking to take advantage of anyone who would let them, and people who'd kill you for a piece of bread. The cities were centers of anarchy and hunger, desperation and violence.

I often resented how sheltered my life had been, but I was grateful not to have been raised in a place like this. I couldn’t even begin to imagine why anyone chose to stay here, not when there were so many established communities where people made it a point to help each other and keep everyone safe and well taken care of.

My eyes widened when the city finally came into view. The suburbs leading up to it were bad, but this was like nothing I had ever seen, nothing I could have even imagined. Before us were towers of gray covered in vines, windows shattered, the roads littered with pieces of cars and rusted signs. And even though nature had been creeping in, everything was drab and crumbling. So this was what the death of human achievement looked like –a decaying, mournful ghost town.

from Moon Fever (a Teen Wolf fanfic)...

"I say we have another party!" Eric proclaimed, "now that everything in the loft is turned back on."
Derek raised a brow at her. "You can't just decide to have a party where I live."
"Isaac lives there too," she said, pointing to the doe-eyed beta who was grinning up at Scott while the band packed up their equipment. Derek continued to stare at her without saying anything.
She huffed. "Fine, you're such a killjoy. Why am I in a band with you again?"
"I believe the words you used once were because of my underwear model physique and broody eyebrows," he said dryly.
"Someone's full of himself," came a voice from the other side of the table and Derek tried to suppress a groan. It was Stiles. Of course it was Stiles. 

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Life Lessons

I'm only 23 and honestly I do not have my life together. Like, even a little bit. But I would still like to think that there are some things that I have learned about life and now I want to share them with you. Warning: if you wanted this to be a serious post with serious advice then you have come to the wrong place my friend.

1. Dancing in the shower to loud music is dangerous. But worth it.
2. Kitchens are for cooking, kissing, and skanking.
3. Paranormal TV shows are best watched before bed, preferably with your best friend while curled up in a blanket nest.
4. Drinking vodka and playing DDR is the best and worst decision you can make. Do it. Just do it.
5. Whatever weird thing you want to do with your hair, go for it. Seriously. Dye it, shave it, spike it up into a foot tall mohawk. Do it. Own it. Be awesome.
6. Even cheap wine is better than no wine.
7. True friends will send you pictures of cute cats, porn, and throw things at you as motivation to do your work.
8. Being a sarcastic shithead might get you into trouble but it is almost always worth it.
9. If you trip and fall on your face, laugh. You're hilarious.
10. Get a cat. Just fucking get a cat.

I mean these things apply to me, maybe they apply to you too.

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So there's still a sale going on in my shop

50% off your order with the code FEB50. So you should all go check out what I have in stock. I'm trying really hard to clear out what I have so I can start listing new stuff.

CLICK TO GO TO SHOP

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Style Inspiration

I am in serious need of some new clothes you guys. I got rid of a lot of stuff when I moved and mostly I have been living in leggings and t-shirts. I could really use some new pieces but I just don't have the extra money for it, which sucks. That doesn't mean, of course, that I haven't been looking at things and torturing myself. So here's some looks that I have been digging lately, all of which can be found on my Pinterest.

Are you sensing a general theme? Honestly there's not much I love more than black clothes and leather jackets. What I wear varies a lot, I have a wide style range, but I will always migrate back to this aesthetic. (Also all photos except the 3rd are linked to their sources -I couldn't find the right source for the 3rd one unfortunately.)

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Currently

It just. Keeps. Snowing. (View from this lady's window)

Watching: Teen Wolf every Monday. I've also watched Iliza Shlesinger's act War Paint about 3 times in the past month or so. It never gets old.

Reading: Currently I am reading The Maze Runner which is pretty good. I also read Graceling not that long ago and I recommend that for YA fantasy fans. And I'll be honest with you guys, I have read a lot of fanfiction lately. NO SHAME.

Listening to: This playlist as well as a decent amount of ska music -Reel Big Fish, The Fratellis, Save Ferris, & Slow Kids At Play.

Wearing: My usual uniform of leggings, t-shirts, hoodies, and slippers. When I go out I wear pretty much the same thing only replace the slippers with boots and the hoodies with my faux-leather jacket and a scarf.

Thinking about: Writing & books mostly. Me and Sue have been bouncing ideas off of each other so most of the time my head is spinning with dialogue and scenes and plot possibilities. I've also been thinking a lot about monsters, which I am currently writing a separate post about.

Doing: I've spent a good hunk of time at Sue's place hanging out with her which has been nice. I'm hoping to go back again soon. Other than that I've been reading and writing mostly. And cleaning the house. It kind of need constant upkeep. I don't mid though. I've also been doing some filing work downstairs in my grandfather's office but that never takes up a lot of time. I'm pretty efficient at it.

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Wednesday Words

Your weekly look into what I have been writing.

from The Necromancer's Daughter...

I met Sydra’s gaze and she nodded. I took a deep breath to try to center myself and then lifted the salt vial over my head and depositing it on the floor next to me. My magic immediately rushed forward, let loose from the rolling knot in my stomach. But now there was no salt to keep it contained and instead of feeling like the inside of my skin was being needled at, the power burst forth. My body felt electrified, the magic coming in waves off of me. I tried to do what Sydra had said, tried to condense it so that I could control it. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get it to behave. I attempted to picture it coalescing into a ball in my palms but the energy was wild, ecstatic to be free of its cage, and it wasn’t listening to me. I was a thousand times grateful for the thick circle of salt that Sydra had drawn around me, scared to know what might happen if I was completely unbound.
“Focus!” Sydra said forcefully.“I’m trying to,” I ground out, annoyed that she didn’t seem to realize how much effort I was putting in. It wasn’t exactly like this was easy. 

from a Teen Wolf punk AU I just wrote...

Lydia Martin was in charge at Beacon Hills High, with her high heels and red lips, so it was her job to keep tabs on any and all new students that found their way into her halls. Especially when they were girls with slim waists and legs that went on for miles. So her interest in the stunning brunette with dark eyes when she walked through the school’s front doors was strictly business.
And really the girl shouldn’t have been so attractive, not with lip ring and the dark eyeliner, the studded vest and combat boots that clearly indicated she could fuck you up and wouldn’t feel bad about it. Usually that kind of thing was supposed to make you less attractive, or so Lydia had always thought, seeing as the local punk clique (three kids with greasy hair and only owned clothes from Hot Topic) certainly wasn’t made of lookers. [click for full]

If you actually read the snippets that I post then I love you.

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Fiction Writing: Tips That Might Help or Be Completely Useless

Okay, so I have been writing a lot lately and I wanted to post some of these writing-related posts back in November for Nanowrimo but I never got around to it. But now is a better time than never so I figured I'd post a few tips for anyone else out there who has an interest in writing fiction.

Keep in mind, this is just advice. The same things don't work for everyone, these are just things that work for me. Also, I'm (obviously) not a published novelist or anything, so you know, there is that to consider.

So here, we go, some maybe useful tips for you to consider while writing.

• Don't wait until you're inspired. I mean, yeah, you definitely want to write when you are hit with inspiration, but don't just wait for it to come around. The thing about writing is that it's really easy to put off and blame on "writer's block." Trust me, I would know, I have done it so many times and will do it more in the future without a doubt. But writing gets done because you sit down and commit to it. You work through the writer's block and even if your words are crap for the day at least you have words to work with later on when you edit.
• Listen to music. I have playlists set up for each of my projects with songs that remind me of what I'm writing or that just put me in the mood for a particular scene I'm working on. I also use Zen Writer and will sometimes listen to the music options it offers which are soothing and unobtrusive. I have also found that SoundDrown has some great relaxing options including the sound of rainfall, a crackling fire, a coffee shop, and white noise.
• Don't always write in the same place. I try to switch up where I do my writing on a regular basis. There's something about new surroundings that I find mentally refreshing. It's easy if you have a laptop, but even if you use a desktop that you can't move around, take a notebook and pen somewhere new and try handwriting a few things. People always poke fun at the writer-in-a-coffee shop cliche, but there's a reason we end up there. It's nice to be out of the house and in a place with good coffee, low music, and new faces to look at.
• Try not to edit yourself while writing the first draft of anything. I am guilty of this but it's a habit I am trying to kick. It's so easy to go back and reread and try to fix what you've already written before you finish the first draft, but seriously, try not to do it. Editing is a problem for future-you. Just keep moving forward so that you can get the story done, then worry about fixing it.
• Find someone you can bounce ideas off of. I always find myself more inspired to write after I have been talking to my best friend about our respective stories. We are both very passionate about what we write as well as what each other is writing. She hasn't even finished a novel and I am already emotionally attached to her characters. And she's always giving me great ideas or recommending me songs that she thinks fits what I'm working on.

So that's it, that's all I've got. This is what works for me and maybe it will work for you. Maybe it won't. It's worth a shot though. And I'd love to hear any tips you have for writing, so leave them in the comments if you've got any!

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Hair Cut Part 2

So last week I made a quick post about giving myself a fringe. And the other day I finished off my hair cut at my best friend's house, because she has clippers and I don't. So now I have the sides of my head shaved and it's awesome.

I love it so much, it looks great and I feel like a bamf. We also shaved Sue's sides as well as my friend Aly's. We joked that we were now in a girl gang and Sue even made us bracelets that say "Las Lobas" to cement it. The text is the Malachim script and she'll actually be launching a whole line of similar bracelets with different power words on them in her shop Eerie Enchantments.

Here's my bracelet:

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My Book Recommendations Part 4

Alright, I have done a book recommendation post in forever, which is crazy because I read so much and I have so many books that I think other people should read. So today I have three recs for you, all which are the first books in a series, all urban/fantasy young adult literature. Because young adult lit is probably my favourite thing to read.

So first we have...

Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor

This is probably one of the most beautifully written books I have ever read. Laini Taylor is a master of words and this books drags you in and has you completely enthralled within minutes of starting it. It'll have you laughing and crying and practically cooing at the characters as you go along. The moment I finished it I had to get the second one and start reading it. And the third comes out this April!

Summary: Around the world, black handprints are appearing on doorways, scorched there by winged strangers who have crept through a slit in the sky. In a dark and dusty shop, a devil’s supply of human teeth grown dangerously low. And in the tangled lanes of Prague, a young art student is about to be caught up in a brutal otherwordly war. (via goodreads)

Other Books in the Series: 2. Days of Blood & Starlight; 2.5. Night of Cake and Puppets; 3. Dreams of Gods and Monsters

The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater

Okay, I know I have talked about this book before. The Raven Cycle is one of my favourite books series ever, hands down. I love it. Maggie Stiefvater's writing is incredible, the story is original and enchanting, and the characters are amazing. Characters are what really do it for me when it comes to books, and Maggie's are always great. Seriously, if you only ever read one thing I recommend, make it this one.

Summary: “There are only two reasons a non-seer would see a spirit on St. Mark’s Eve,” Neeve said. “Either you’re his true love . . . or you killed him.”

It is freezing in the churchyard, even before the dead arrive. Every year, Blue Sargent stands next to her clairvoyant mother as the soon-to-be dead walk past. Blue herself never sees them—not until this year, when a boy emerges from the dark and speaks directly to her. His name is Gansey, and Blue soon discovers that he is a rich student at Aglionby, the local private school. Blue has a policy of staying away from Aglionby boys. Known as Raven Boys, they can only mean trouble.

Other Books in the Series: 2. The Dream Thieves (which is even better than the first); 3. TBA

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo

This is a fantasy book and one of my favourites to date. It's beautifully written, funny, dark, full of love and magic and evil. Everything you need to make a fantastic story. This is another book series where the characters really make it something special.

Summary: The Shadow Fold, a swathe of impenetrable darkness, crawling with monsters that feast on human flesh, is slowly destroying the once-great nation of Ravka. Alina, a pale, lonely orphan, discovers a unique power that thrusts her into the lavish world of the kingdom’s magical elite—the Grisha. Could she be the key to unravelling the dark fabric of the Shadow Fold and setting Ravka free?

Other Books in the Series: 1.5. The Tailor; 2. Siege and Storm // short stories: The Witch of Duva & The Too-Clever Fox

So there you have it, some excellent books to read if you're itching for some magic in your life. If you pick any of them up let me know what you think. These are all books that I love to talk about at any given opportunity.

x

Happy V-Day Lovers!

If you are the type of person who moans and groans over Valentine's day and your lack of significant other than you should probably back it up and exit it out of here. Unless you're totally into reading about me telling you how great V-Day is and why you should be happy and enjoy the holiday regardless of whether or not you've got a love in your life. Then you should stick around.

Because I am one of those people that doesn't care if they have a significant other for this holiday. I really, really don't. Valentine's Day is about love, all kinds of love, not just the romantic mushy kind. So take the chance to send messages to the people you love, give chocolates to your mom, wear something nice and tell yourself you look good in the mirror, drink wine with your best friend, cuddle with your cat, or compliment someone on the street. Spread the love around.

Was this enough of a feel good post for you? Do you feel inspired, renewed, overwhelmed with joy? You should. It's a good day. It's a great day. 

And if you're still a little sad about not having a romantic partner, just remember, all that candy goes on sale tomorrow!

x

p.s. if you know the source for the image let me know, I just found it on tumblr.

Wednesday Words

Okay, so I know I haven't really been doing any kind of weekly features lately, but I think trying to make a habit of posting bits of my writing every week (Wednesday because of alliteration purposes of course) will be another thing to help me make sure that I am actually doing my writing. Not that I have been procrastinating on working on my novels as much as I have in the past, but I also enjoy getting feedback and putting myself out there a little bit.

So anyways, here's a look at what I have been working on lately.

from The Night Coven...

The morning of my first day at the new school was probably like every new girl in school movie -scrambling to turn off my alarm, a half-asleep shower, and my mom making a breakfast that was too big for me to possibly eat before I had to leave. The only thing the whole ordeal was missing was a scene where I pulled all the clothes out of my closet and tried to pick out just the right blouse. Instead I just pulled on the uniform I had gotten the day before, adding tights to the ensemble to try to cover up the way my legs looked in the skirt (which wasn't even that short, I was just used to jeans) and throwing on my slightly worn out jean jacket. The dress code hadn't said anything about outwear which was I was happy about. I owned a few blazers but I always felt like a secretary when I wore one. 

"You look lovely Ellie," my mom said as I sat down at the table where she had laid out eggs, toast, pancakes, and coffee. I was hoping most of it was for her and her pregnancy induced eating habits because there was no way I would be able to make any kind of significant dent in all that food.  

"Did you put on makeup this morning?" she asked, a smile tugging at her lips and she poured me a mug of coffee. I took it gratefully and scooped sugar into it. 

"It's just eyeliner," I said with a shrug, like it was no big deal. I stabbed at a pancake and avoided looking up at her, knowing exactly the satisfied grin she was wearing. Mom took it as a personal victory every time I used even a little bit of the makeup that she bought for me. Typically it only happened when Piper wanted to go out and forced me to sit still while she attacked me with eye shadow and a mascara brush. But the first day of a new school seemed like a good time to at least put a little bit of effort into how I looked.  

"It's no big deal," I said again around a bite of food. She didn't say anything but her look was enough. I debated going back upstairs and taking it off, but that seemed a bit childish, even for me.

from Moon Fever (a Teen Wolf fanfiction)...

"So," he said, nudging Scott with his elbow as they stepped away from the stage. "That guitarist seemed pretty into you." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Allison laughed, wrapping her arm around her boyfriend's waist, and Scott groaned. "That was so weird dude. So weird."

"At least he's attractive," Stiles continued, smiling wide, and Allison hummed an agreement against Scott's chest. Scott flicked his gaze from his best friend to the petite brunette wrapped around him.

"Aren't you suppose to defend my honour or something?" has asked indignantly.

Allison grinned. "I'm pretty sure your honour is intact. Well, maybe not after that thing we did in the back of my car yesterday."

Stiles clapped his hands over is ears. "That's enough of that!" he declared loudly, turning on his heel to make his way towards the bar for some water. He didn't care that his friend was getting sexy times when he wasn't (that was a lie, he did, but he wasn't bitter about it), but he in no way wanted to hear about it.

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Blogging Groove

I seem to have gotten my blogging groove back and I'm so excited to be posting on a regular basis. I've pretty much abandoned how I was doing things before (although I might bring back tea time, maybe as a once a month feature) but I am enjoying this much better. I feel like I've taken the chains off my content and am completely comfortable posting about whatever comes to mind. I hope that you guys enjoy this new way of doing things as well. It's by no means "professional" but that's not the kind of blogger I want to be anyways. I thought it was for awhile but it really just doesn't fit with the kind of person I am.

Anyways, I have a lot of posts planned, some kind of ramble-y, about pretty much everything I've been thinking about lately. My brain was in a cage before and I've let it out and now my mind is overflowing with things I want to share in this space.

So yeah, hang around if you're interested in what the inside of my head look like these days.

Also enjoy this picture of Eli.

x

Hair Cut

So last night I decided to give myself a fringe. And I think it came out pretty good.

It might still need some trimming, I'll figure it out though. I also want to shave a bit from the sides. I miss my undercut but I'm not dedicated to shaving off as much as I did last time. I think taking a small amount off both sides would look bad-ass though.

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The thing about breakups...

note: Super personal post, trigger warning for abuse

The thing about breakups is that they're so individual to a person. No breakup is the same as anyone else's. It's a new experience every time. And sometimes it hurts, a long drawn out pain that haunts you when you're trying to sleep at night and makes your chest feel tight; and sometimes you feel like you've been set free, a weight is lifted, and you're ready to take flight; and sometimes it's a mix of both that battle within you for weeks or months. And then, sometimes you become apathetic, numb to the emotions, blocking out the memories and pretend you don't have a heart to break anyways.

Currently, I am all of those things. Actually, that's a lie, the pain part passed very quickly, surprisingly enough. It hurt for maybe two weeks and then I moved out and had time to settle into my own space and the pain dissipated. Because the truth is I feel like I've been single for months, and for months I felt that pain, so when it finally became official, I had already cried most of it out.

Now I feel free. And sometimes I feel numb, like my heart was carved out of my chest and put into a box for later. But when I feel like that I don't feel like someone else did it. It's like I took the knife to myself and removed it until I can deal with it again. If that makes sense?

Mostly I feel free though. I have intense anxiety, honestly it's probably from a case of ptsd (I am not diagnosed, I am currently trying to get a so I can afford to go see someone and pay for medication), and being single is so much easier on my stress levels. Because now I don't have anyone else I have to put a smile on for. I don't have to pretend, I don't have to explain my emotions, and I don't have someone standing over me and getting offended by my lack of happiness. That's the worst in relationships, for me at least -when you just can't make yourself happy and the other person takes it as some kind of affront to their character. Or when you can't open up about what's bothering you because just the thought of doing so gives you a panic attack, and the other person gets mad because they think you're keeping things from them. As if you're doing it on purpose.

I'll be completely honest with you guys. And some people know this, but most people in my life do not, and putting this out there for the world at large is very difficult, but I am sick of being ashamed of it. The reason I have such bad anxiety (probably ptsd) is because for 3 years of my college life I was in an off/on mentally and sexually abusive relationship. I am a rape victim. And sometimes that thought sends my world crashing down around me and I can't deal with it. And when I can't deal with it I withdraw, pull inside myself, and I can't talk about it. And to be blunt, I am fucking sick of other people making my inability to open about them. It makes me stress out more, makes me paranoid and depressed. It's not healthy.

So on the other side of my recent breakup, I am happy to be free. I haven't really been single in a long time and it feels like a weight's been lifted. The thing about relationships (and I'm talking about mine here) is that they're great for awhile. The other person is always wonderful and fabulous and lifts you up and makes you feel loved and beautiful. And then they see what your inside looks like and you see what their inside looks like and that's where the trouble starts. I have a lot of baggage. It's difficult to deal with, I know that. It's one of the reasons I don't have many friends. It puts a lot of stress on a relationship and it's selfish of me to demand that the other person deal with all of my crap, especially when they have their own issues. But when things start to go downhill my anxiety goes through the roof. I get depressed, moody, lose touch with myself and with other people, and end up wishing I could crawl into a hole forever. The strain of the relationship is just too much.

So I'm done with them for now. The idea of dating sounds positively revolting anyways (read: dating, not sex, I am actually pretty annoyed I'm not having sex. TMI?) I am happy to have space, time in my own head without worrying about someone else. I have a lot I need to deal with. I need to talk to someone about my anxiety issue, I need to find a job, I need to get my license, I need to finish my degree. And while I do all that I want to get back into shape, write a fuck-ton, maybe try to teach myself Czech, hopefully meet some new people, and do something awesome with my hair. I want to be the Queen in my own life again.

So that's it. Breakups are hard and weird and an emotional avalanche. Mine has been interesting to say the least. But I have my friends, and I have the love and support of my family, and I have books and a hula hoop and tv shows to watch. Life is tough. My life has been fucking hell at times. But I've survived this long and I guess I don't plan on stopping any time soon.

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SHOP SALE

So my shop is currently open and having a massive sale. 50% off everything with the code FEB50 at checkout! I am trying to clear out as much as my stock as possible and hopefully I can start adding some new pieces soon. So go check it out!

MY SHOP

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Things I Don't Care About Anymore

Does anyone else, as a blogger, feel the never-ending pressure to care about pretty much everything? Or is that just me?

Lately I feel like the blogosphere is just bogged down by unnecessary posts and advice and honestly, things I just don't fucking care about. People get so wrapped up in their branding, in tailoring their content to the right people, making sure their pictures look just right, and advertising everything they post on every social media site at exactly the right time using just the right wording, that I feel like the whole point of blogging gets lost. Okay, so your blog looks nice and has lots of redirects to your other stuff, and you have a few thousand followers, and some company wants to affiliate with you to bring in business. That's great.

But I still do not care.

That sounds harsh, I know. It's just, that when it comes down to it, all that stuff is nice, but if you're not being creative or engaging, if you're not being real in your own virtual space, I'm not interested. I follow bloggers because I'm intrigued by their lives and what they have to say, because they seem like real people.

So, we all likes lists right? I do, so here's one for you.

Things I Don't Care About Anymore

• Your blog brand. I literally do not give a single fuck what your blog looks like or if your graphics use the same font or if the colours match the designs on your other social media sites. It's nice if they do, but I am not considering it to be important at all. I realize mine does all match and work together. This is due more to boredom than anything else.
• Tutorials for things there are already 5000000 tutorials for. You did a thing, good for you, but I don't see the point of posting another DIY for something that already has a million google search results.
• If your photos are all the same size. What a stupid thing to focus on, in my opinion. It's there, I can see it, that's good enough for me. 
• Making content "shareable." I would actually rather see posts that can't be condensed into 140 character tweets. I like long-winded thoughts, posts with depth. And I love twitter, don't get me wrong, but blog content shouldn't be tailored to it (or facebook, or whatever.)
• Posts where you recap everything you posted in the last month. Because I know what you posted, I read your blog, and if I thought it was interesting I already read it. I don't know, those kinds of recaps always seem kind of pointless to me.
• The endless tips and advice on how to live healthier. I am all for a healthy lifestyle. I eat well, workout, and drink my 8 glasses of water a day. But I am sick of seeing people talk about it all the time. It's not like it's anything new. It's all kind of common sense stuff that has been repeated to the point where I would rather bang my head against a wall than see it again. Because just duh, obviously, veggies are good, yoga is good, don't eat too many cookies or you'll feel crappy. DUH. (this does not apply to when people post about their personal journey with health.)

And because I don't want this to be a super negative blog post (I'm not a super negative person you guys, I swear), here are some things I do care about.

this is how I express happiness over stuff on the below list, obviously

• Pictures of your house, your cat, your friends, your food, your crafts, the trees outside your house, cool graffiti at the train station, the new shoes you bought, YOUR FACE. I love snapshots from people's lives. I love those little looks into your day. Because that's the real you, your real experiences, not something contrived or thought up just to up your pageviews.
• Your thoughts on social issues, fashion, movies, music, books (I am super fucking interested in the books you read), people who walk their cats, assholes at the grocery store, the soup you ate for lunch. I care very much about your genuine thoughts on all of that and more. Extra points if you use over the top language to talk about otherwise un-extraordinary things. A fucking medal if you write a sonnet about doing laundry or something.
• Your art. Whether it's painting, writing, sketching, graphics, video editing, jewelry designing, or gluing macaroni to construction paper. Whatever it is that you're doing creatively as an outlet is something I care about and want to see.
• Cats. I really care about cats and I will read anything you posts about cats, whether its your cat or someone else's. You can make 10 posts about cats in a row and I would read every single one of them. And if you think I'm exaggerating I assure you I'm not.
• Teen Wolf. I care about Teen Wolf a lot, so if you post about it (nobody posts about it, I don't know what's wrong with the blogging world) then I am 100% fucking there for whatever you have to say. (Okay, this one's pretty off topic, but I just have a lot of feelings about this show and I needed a fifth bullet point.)

See? There is plenty of stuff that I do like to see, just not the stuff that's usually in those "how to be a successful blogger" posts. And for the record, I don't care about those either.

x

p.s. I hope you enjoyed my gif use in this post. I thought it was pretty spot on.

Shots from my Bedroom Part II (image heavy)

I already shared a few quick pictures from my bedroom, but seeing as I now have a dresser (before my clothes were just in piles on the floor) and my room is fully put together (almost fully, I still need a throw rug) I thought I would share what it looks like.

Also, yes, these photos clearly have filters on them. The light in my room is sucky which makes the pictures grainy -the filter helps with that. Plus, it's pretty.

My bed, stuffed animals and all.

That chair is where I sit and do all my online stuff. (I have a lapdesk)

Top shelf of one of my bookcases.

Favourite poster, and very important.

I have so many sweaters on my door it's ridiculous.

Demon horns & bag with my Karma Mantra beads.

Top of my dresser.

Again, top of my dresser. Love that Lady of Shalott print.

Mirror, door, edge of bookcases. That's (one of) my hula hoop folded up against the wall.

There you have it, the space I spend most of my time in. There's still a few things I want to do, like get a rug and some new curtains (currently I just have these horrible blinds) and a few succulents but that stuff will have to wait until I have some money.

x

Non-Perfections

I want to talk about non-perfections. Not flaws, necessarily, mostly because I don't like applying that word to people's characteristics (unless their assholes, in which case I don't care) -just those little things that we see in ourselves that are not "perfect."

I love all the body positivity I see on the internet these days. I really really do. I love seeing people learn to embrace themselves, not caring what other people think about the way they look, and allowing themselves to just be human. But, let's face it, the internet does also let us pick and choose what we show off to the world.

And that's not a bad thing. I am pro-selfies all the way. I love being able to take my own picture and choose how to edit it (or not) and post it for others to see. I love having control over how I am portrayed.

But because I can just show you what I want to, you don't get the whole picture. Sometimes literally. I can show you the side of my face that looks good and doesn't have acne, I don't have to share the way my legs look, my chipped nail polish, or the various faces I make throughout the day.

So because I am lazy and don't quite feel like taking pictures of all that, I am at least going to share a list of some of my non-perfections with you. Because I don't like the idea of people having a false illusion of me.

So.

• I have one crooked canine in my top row of teeth that drives me crazy most of the time which is one of the reasons I hate smiling for pictures.
• My thighs (and my ass if we're being completely honest) are the thickest parts of me. I'm not really a big person, but any excess weight I carry around is in that general area. Sometimes I'm self conscious about it, sometimes I just think my ass looks fabulous. It's an ongoing struggle.
• Sometimes my skin hates me and breaks out everywhere. It's painfully annoying.
• My nail polish is in fact usually chipped despite all my attempts at keeping it neat. The result is usually a grungy angst-ridden teenager effect.
• I make so many faces. Weird, unattractive, dorky faces. I make them when I read, when I watch things, when I talk to people, when I listen to music, when I'm bored... 
• Sometimes I think my forehead is too big. Not all the time, but sometimes I think about it and I hate how much space it takes up on my face. It's ridiculous, I know, but I can't help it.
• There are times where I don't shave my legs for weeks at a time. Mostly because I am lazy and can't bring myself to care enough, especially when it's cold outside. 
• I am moody. Seriously, I can be a moody fucker. I have always been that way. I can go from fine to upset or angry at the flip of a switch.
• I can also be painfully apathetic. I mean, I care about a lot of things and people in the world, but sometimes I get up in the morning and I just don't give a single fuck. It can make me frustrating to be around for sure.
• Sometimes my anxiety is so bad that I can barely function and it's hard for me to talk to people. It's usually not anything personal but it's still taken the wrong way most of the time.
• I probably (okay definitely) spend more time on tumblr than is healthy. Working on it.
• I am way too attached to various fictional characters. I am typically way more interested fictional worlds (of my own creating or not) than I am with real life and real people. I mean, I'm not disinterested with reality, but I've always been an escapist.

So there you go. A list of some of my non-perfections, things you would know about me if we interacted on a regular basis outside of the internet. I wouldn't really call them bad things (well, the anxiety is bad, I'm not a fan) but they're real things that often get lost when I open my web browser.

How about you guys? Any non-perfections you're willing to share?

x