Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Blogging Confession


This space has been so quiet lately, and part of that is because I honestly don't know what to say. I don't know what I want from blogging anymore. I don't particularly think that I want to give it up, but I also know I can't return to the way I was doing things. Not because it was bad, but because it doesn't feel right anymore.

I love the blogging community -the people, the content, the dialogues that open between individuals all over the world. It's incredible. And I love weekly features, sponsor programs, giveaways, all of that. But I feel like I have been trying to fit myself into a blogging space that is just the wrong shape for me. I am not, by nature, an organized person. And despite how positive I try to make this space, I am not always a positive person. There's a lot of dark things in my life, I struggle with anxiety and depression, and sometimes I'm just angry. And I try not to let all that seep into my online life, but it's difficult sometimes.

And when it comes down to, although the upbeat and loving persona you all see on this blog is a part of me, it's only a small part. That's only who I am sometimes, and it's tiring to try to be that person for my readers every time I post. I feel like I'm lying, something that I really don't want to do.

So here's the truth of it. I love bohemian aesthetics, exploring spirituality, spreading love, and all of that. But I also love to be up to my ears in books, write about monsters and magic, get trashed and dance all night, marathon fantasy/supernatural tv shows, talk about literature and mythology, swear like a sailor, bake at two in the morning, and sometimes dress like I'm ready to kill a man.

I don't have a "brand" -something that for a long time I thought I needed to be a successful blogger. I have spent a lot of time trying to pin my brand down, never satisfied with what I came up with. But now I can honestly said that I don't want a brand. I can't fit my personality into a single aesthetic and I'm sick of trying.

I'm not sure where that leaves me in the blogging world, but I do know that I want to be more honest in my posts. We'll see where it takes me.

10 comments:

  1. I love this confession! My confession is: I hate blogs that are heavily branded. I used to think I liked them, wanted to be them, envied their 1000s of followers. But I realized they're lacking one big thing: authenticity! What I love about bloggers like yourself, and what I aspire to in my own writing, is trueness. I love knowing, for example, that you like to get trashed and dance all night! I love me my wine, and I throw one hellofa solo dance party...with my dog (husband never wants to partake). It's these little aspects of peoples' lives that endear me to them so, because I can RELATE. (I cannot relate, however, to post-upon-post of "look how perfect my life is, I made perfect macaroons, look at all my perfectly flawless photos, I'm so perfect". Nuh-uh.)

    Keep on rockin' in the free world, sister! <3

    M.

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    1. I'm so glad you understand! (I have some crazy wine-induced dance parties with my cat, lemme tell you haha)
      And although I enjoy bloggers with brands (I mean, you have to admire their organization and dedication) I just can't be like that. I'd rather be a hot mess with a blog and a few followers like you who won't judge me for my less-than-perfect life.
      <3 x

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  2. The "unorganized" type of bloggers are the ones that I tend to read all the time. I believe that a person's personality is multidimensional with different perspectives, interests, emotions, etc. I love when bloggers show a more realistic notion of what they are as a human being; it makes them, like the fellow said above, more easy to relate to. People that are "branded",sure they're interesting to follow the majority of time but then it gets boring and repetitive. I love the crazy bloggers that talk about the reality of their lives, pretty or ugly, fun or depressive and with a huge variety of topics. Therefore, i love you! Keep up the good work!

    xoxo

    (Sorry, my english is not that good, lol)

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    1. I always worry that not being consistent will mean no one wants to read what I have to say, so it's nice to know that there are people like you who enjoy my disorganized brain vomit, haha.

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  3. Being unorganised is okay! Your blog doesn't have one niche, and that's what makes it one of my favourites, and it's something I can identify with. I started blogging back in high school when I started getting into makeup, and up until last spring I was all about style and beauty, but since then I've felt that my writing should be a little more carefree and spiritual. I'm trying to figure out how to reconcile my love of style and beauty and my spirituality. It really is difficult! We understand that you're not about just a single style or topic, and that's okay too! Good for you for being honest and being true to yourself, even if you don't know what that means blog-wise yet.

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  4. I've come to think that many of us who probably identify more as personal bloggers have gotten left to the fray as of late. Most of the advice that's floating around out there is aimed at people who want to be mini-media powerhouses, business owners and otherwise money makers.... I don't know about you, but my primary reason for getting into blogging wasn't that. It was personal expression and finding like minded people. It often makes me feel like a bit of an oddball when I don't really care so much about money as the other stuff that I care about.

    But there's so much pressure to do this and don't do that and if you do thus and such and so, you'll gain a following, you'll go viral... and who doesn't get kinda sucked up in that fantasy of rising to fame every now and again?

    So, when I feel that way, I always go back to think on why I do it in the first place... and if I don't have the desire anymore, I stop. Usually it comes back again.

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    1. I definitely like the idea of rising up in the blogging world, but I think if I ever did I would want it to be for my more personal stuff, not the branding and the sponsors and reviews and giveaways. I like all that stuff but I don't have the energy for it.

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  5. Don't ever narrow yourself, the internet isn't a fake place. Be who you really are, and people will love what you write. When I stopped caring, and started enjoying, that's when my blogging came together. You don't need a brand. You can swear. You can talk about the dark stuff, how shitty you feel, or how magickal you feel. This is your space. You don't need a persona. Be honest with your readers, and yourself. 'cause we support you, and adore you, all the same.

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    1. Thanks darling, that's good to hear. I'm so glad that you and others are so supportive of me x

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Thank you so much for your comments! I love hearing from my readers and your support means a lot to me!

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