Monday, February 18, 2013

The Importance of Experiencing Pain

“People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” -Jim Morrison

I came across this quote on tumblr the other day and it really struck home for me. The past few months have been a real struggle for me emotionally. I have felt stressed out and caged. I have felt like I was unable to express and feel my emotions -my pain. I didn't feel like I had a right to them or that I had the time to experience them in full. 

There are things in my life that have caused me a lot of pain. They are not things I think about on a regular basis and I rarely talk about them to anyone. But they happened and I know that in order to stay strong in the face of them I need to allow myself to feel them completely.

But I was in a situation where I felt like those around me would not be supportive in the way I know I needed them to be. I felt like I would be pressured to deal with things in a certain way and to get over them and go back to being happy. I knew I couldn't do that so I bottled it up to deal with later. I have been waiting to find the time and emotional security to open my heart up and inspect the damage.

I have the right to feel my pain. To poke at my wounds and see what makes them flare. I have the right to lay on the bedroom floor and stare at the ceiling while I let my mind run amok. I have the right to cry into my pillow and listen to sad music. I have the right to write depressing and brutally honest journal entries. I have the right to feel like my heart is going to burst from how much it hurts.

And after all of that I have the right to begin my own healing process. I have the right to talk to people or not talk to people as I want. I have the right to take long walks under the sun and reconnect with what makes my soul leap with joy. I have the right to discover my own truths and write my own story.

And I have the right to not apologize for who I am and how I experience my own pain and my own joy.

We all have the right to experience the full range of our emotions and not apologize for them or run from them. Even if it hurts. Pain is a reality of life and we must learn to deal with it so that we may know the true warmth that comes from happiness. We must learn in order to move on and grow.

Stir your soul:
Do you bottle your pain or let it flow out and run its course? How you you grown and changed by letting yourself experience pain? (Feel free to share with me via the comments -this is a safe space)

Lady Unlaced


  1. This is so beautiful. I have definitely gone through a lot of changes when it comes to how i deal with pain. I've tried ignoring it, forcing myself to acknowledge it, trying to pace myself. I would say that the most healthy and affective way for me to deal with pain is to really really face it. I can totally relate to this:
    "I have been waiting to find the time and emotional security to open my heart up and inspect the damage"
    That is a profound self observation and it really struck a cord with me. I think about my pain the same way, I catch myself saying "I have to much to do this week to lose it now or confront someone for answers". There are times where this is relatively okay for me and other times where it only makes things worse.
    Thank you so much for sharing.

    1. When I was in school I literally had no time to have a breakdown about it, not between class, homework, and work.
      I like sharing things like this and it is nice to know that other people feel the same way. I hope that we can both work past our pain and keep our feet on the ground :)


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